My Brain has been so fried with school i cant remember if I posted this piece (pretty sure I haven't)

I don’t wanna die of old age
Have the last thing I do make love to an I.V
If I knew a synonym for the word fuck
I would use it
So instead I just want to fuck him
Make him understand what it feels like to be in control



They look like sedated free slaves
No though of where they are going
Sleep like death Penalty
They are consultants of demise


He wipes the blood away from a leaking I.V
As if thinking of the daughter’s hair he may never stroke
Or the tanner oil he may never smell from the inside of his son’s baseball glove
It continues to leak and the memories pour to the beat of each drip


“Doctor, Doctor-why are you avoiding me he silently yells”
Like a baby with a immune system aging backwards


He is frail


Waiting for the patient to close palms like a disciple
The doctor doesn’t even cut a stare
Like a fed up wife who has already printed the papers
The decisions is made
We are sinners of love
There is no room for relationships here
His family doesn’t even know he’s been admitted


Like a dead body in the morgue
He’s waiting to be claimed


This lady reminds me of my grandmother
(all old ladies do)
Resistant because fright defeats love
Her daughter watches reminding me of my mother
The only one that can speak without protest
She’s afraid the cosigning has taken her on a guilt trip
Foe now she understands that her mother is just a prehistoric woman
Hurting from a lost love
And the only closure she has is an empty house in a homeland where survival is no longer her possession

For MaMa

Afraid of your demise

Heart on a high speed pursuit

Tractor trailer that won’t tip over

10 commandments in the iris of your smile

She makes me want to be a saint

It hurts to sin

Words like whiplashes

Broke you down like a fried bible

Watched you burn into the shape of a coffin

I would cut my heart out for her

Place it in the split of a cocoon

I am no where close to perfection

And this poem will never truly be the scripture of my love to you written on the inside of my blood vessels

It hurts to even write these words

I want to break the tip of my nails

Draw your name in with my blood

I’m an Egyptian slave trying to leave love stories for the next woman who will bare pain

I want her to understand that there is always beauty in pain

Like how the tips of your fingers are consolations

Guide me MaMa

Teach me how to forgive like how the lord teaches you that my heart is a broken cradle rocking

Repair me

Forgive me once more

She still loves me and I hate her for it

I am the devil to her god

Pounced fist against the legends of her maps

Took advantage of an old woman

Too selfish to realize she was only reaching out to mend my broken existence

That’s what grandmothers do

Love you when devil has taken your soul

Resurrect you like Christ

She is a godly woman

So I know no matter how much it hurts her to love me she always will

I’m a bad child

Undeserving of her love

Anticipate a Sunday visit

Boiled bananas and dumpling w/ cabbage and salt fish

Afraid my tears will remain the reflection of indulgence

Diabetic heart beating like a sugar cane

I want to be her insulin

Moomie says that if I cry in front of her she’ll become stressed out

I’m still trying to part the sea

It’s like the choice between eating a fruit you have no precedence of and dying of hunger

I want to cry

Reveal that my actions are pure

I don’t love her because the melany in my skin shines like her soul

But because my heart yearns for her forgiveness like a lover lost on the Atlantic coast

His other half was always right

He can’t live without her

Like I can’t live w/o my grandmother

I’m on the verge of breaking my heart in two

I want you to know just how much I love you

3minute conversations on Sundays don’t take away all the shit I’ve put you through

And if the doors of heaven are the closet I can get to you

I’ll sell my soul to the lord

Prove to those non believers that saints exist

MaMa you are perfect

I hate old ladies

They remind me of my Grandmother

The way their knees rattle like a tambourine during 7:30 mass

Backs arched over as if they are carrying my offense on their spine

They are ready to detain me

But they understand the weakness in my heart

My grandmother is ancient

Knows nothing of poetry except the fact that I write

Doesn’t understand metaphors or similes

So it hurts me to know that she may never understand this poem

My feelings may never have any validation

Makes me want to stop writing

These words have always told stories for me

And now my heart beat wants to tell the story

The way it shifts paces as if trying to remind me that she feels the same

My grandmother has a heart problem

I’m terrified she will die w/o ever feeling my love for her

I would feel better if she caught alsimers

Capture my spirit when she hugs me

Loves me with her heart

Not her memory

I’m still selfish

Trying to fill up my own guilt

I want to teach her my name all over again

Show her how to love me like I’m still that little Jamaican girl they call Jackie

Love me like I’m her grandchild

Pull the wool off her eyes

So she can see the 10 commandments in the iris of my smile

Ive posted this before-For you Emilio :)

Play with my words

I know that I've posted pieces before that show a play on words,and this one is an exception to the "rule". I was intrigued by the humble feeling I was able to receive through this mans voice, The story feels real, and is real without being a cliche or call for pity.

I think that this piece is so impressive, Generally I'm open when it comes to talking about sexual health and now she just takes it to a whole 'nother level. I like how humorous, real, and the truth that is embedded in her voice as well as her poetry. Thank You Eboni <3